I thought Ground Hogs Day was in February but I seem to stand corrected, it is now Feb. thru April. Does it seem to you that every time I enter a blog my title has delayed in it somewhere? I know Gods timing is perfect but it is also frustrating. We do not get to finish out this Interim Phase I as charted for Tuesday, April 14. Her ANC is 500 and her Platelets are 36K. We are rescheduling and trying for this Fri., labs will be drawn this Thursday at Liberty.
I have to say I am very frustrated; not with the delays but with my daughter. Please pray for patience and understanding on my part as to what she is feeling. I believe she is going through a bit of resentment and I get the brunt of it. I can't say I blame her nor that I was not expecting this resentment to hit at some point, she is after all a 14 year old. Please don't get me wrong, she is a beautiful, loving, faithful person but is only human and is beginning to resent the restrictions that I must impose on her due to her Leukemia.
Elizabeth has felt well for the past two and a half months compared to the first four months and I think sometimes she forgets she is still in the same battle for her life.
Cancer is an ugly and daunting diagnosis to receive. In one phase you feel like you are not going to make it and the next phase you forget that you have cancer, then the walls come crashing down and reality hits again as to what you are fighting against.
Not only does Liz need your prayers, but I need your prayers. It is becoming extremely hard to see her go through all of this and it is getting harder for me, the messenger, to get shot every time she does not like the message I have to give her. I know I sound weak and in truth I am feeling very weak and inadequate for this job God has entrusted me to do. I grow weary and weak just like Liz does. It is safe to say I think I have hit a "mental rough patch." I am going to selfishly ask you to pray for peace, patience, compassion, and empathy for the situation I find myself in. I need prayers for strength when I have to tell my daughter "no" on something and she cries and says things that add more guilt onto me. I know she does not do this intentionally and would never want to hurt me. I know she is frustrated, sad, scared, and lonely, just like I am. Please pray for the both of us.
God is the ultimate answer and ultimate healer. We just need people to pray for us when we are weak and scared.
Please continue to pray for the parents and children on A5 South. Some do not have a faith and if it gets this hard for me and I do have a strong faith, what must they be going through?
Pray for Liz and myself to stay strong and fight the good fight.
Pray that we always remember who is in charge of our life and be able to leave our fears at the foot of the cross.
Pray for minimal side effects.
Pray for the wonderful Doctors and nurses that take such good care of her.
Peace and blessings to all of you,